Introduction: It’s a Team Sport
There is a common misconception that sex toys are “replacements.” A partner might think, “Am I not enough? Why do we need a machine?”
The truth is, sex toys in a relationship aren’t about replacement; they are about augmentation. Just as you might use a nice dinner, music, or lingerie to enhance the mood, toys are simply tools to unlock new sensations that human anatomy alone sometimes cannot provide.
Couples’ toys are a booming market designed specifically to be used during intimacy. They can help bridge the “orgasm gap,” introduce new power dynamics, or simply add a sense of novelty to a long-term relationship. Here is a guide to the best toys for two.
1. The Vibrating Cock Ring
This is often the best “gateway toy” for couples because it benefits both parties equally.
- What it is: A stretchy ring (usually silicone) that fits around the base of the penis. It has a small vibrating motor attached to the top.
- For Him: The constriction restricts blood flow out of the penis, which can lead to harder, longer-lasting erections.
- For Her/Them: During penetrative sex, the vibrating motor presses directly against the clitoris, providing stimulation that is often missed during standard intercourse.
- Tip: Ensure you buy a stretchy silicone one. Avoid metal rings until you are more experienced, as getting them stuck is a medical emergency!
2. The “C-Shape” Wearable Vibrator
Made famous by the “We-Vibe,” this is the gold standard for couples seeking simultaneous pleasure.
- What it is: A C-shaped silicone toy. One end sits inside the vagina, and the other end rests on the clitoris. The penis (or a strap-on) can still enter the vagina while the toy is in place.
- The Benefit: It provides internal stimulation (G-spot) and external stimulation (clitoris) for the wearer, while the penetrating partner gets the sensation of a tighter fit and the buzz of the vibrations against their shaft.
- The Experience: It creates a “shared orgasm” potential that is hard to replicate otherwise.
3. Remote Control & App-Controlled Toys
If you want to play with power dynamics or are in a long-distance relationship, this is your category.
- What it is: Usually a panty vibrator or an anal plug that connects to a smartphone app.
- The Play: You hand control over to your partner. They can be across the room at a dinner party, or across the ocean on a business trip. They control the vibration patterns and intensity.
- Why it works: It builds immense anticipation. Knowing your partner holds your pleasure in their hands (literally, on their phone) creates a psychological thrill that is just as intense as the physical sensation.
4. Wand Massagers (Yes, for couples!)
The “Magic Wand” is usually seen as a solo toy, but it’s incredible for foreplay.
- How to use it: Use it on each other. A massage that starts on the shoulders and slowly migrates down to erogenous zones is a great way to build arousal.
- During Intercourse: The penetrating partner can hold the wand against the other partner’s clitoris or perineum during sex. It adds a level of intensity that can speed things up if you are looking for a “quickie” with a big finish.
5. Sensation Play: Feathers, Blindfolds, and Restraints
Not all “toys” vibrate. Sometimes, taking away a sense adds to the pleasure.
- Blindfolds: When you can’t see, your sense of touch is heightened. Every touch feels more electric.
- Restraints: Simple, comfortable cuffs (like those that go under the mattress) allow one partner to take total control. This surrender can be incredibly liberating for someone who has to be “in charge” in their daily life.
How to Have “The Conversation”
If you want to bring a toy into the bedroom but are afraid of hurting your partner’s feelings:
- Don’t bring it up during sex: Talk about it over dinner or while relaxing.
- Frame it as a shared adventure: Say, “I read about this ring that makes things feel better for both of us, and I’d love to try it with you,” rather than “I need this to finish.”
- Start small: A cock ring or some flavored lube is a much easier “yes” than a giant strap-on or a high-powered machine.
Conclusion
Couples who play together, stay together. Introducing toys shows that you are comfortable enough with your partner to share your deepest desires. It breaks the routine and reminds you both that sex is supposed to be fun, experimental, and ever-evolving.
